An attractive middle-aged couple is having marital problems. The couple decides to go to a marriage counselor; they walk into the doctor’s office and sit down. The doctor soon enters the room. He asks them a question. The wife, however, immediately goes ballistic. She starts hollering. The doctor stands up, walks over to her, and puts his arms around her as he gives her a very passionate kiss.
He then walks back to his chair and says to the husband, “Your wife needs that at least three times a week.” The husband replies, “Okay. I can have her here Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 3P.M.”
So, as to the title of today's posting, "The Loneliness of Morality: A Love Story" ...
What in the world does that mean?
How about this? Sometimes, reality is a tough pill to swallow ...
Note that unless the matters discussed in this posting are properly addressed early on, all of the other information presented in my upcoming book, "How to Prepare for Old Age (If You Haven't Married into a Wealthy Family)" will be of little help in resolving life's main issues.
Suffering is a part of life, but needless suffering should never be acceptable. We alone have the power both individually and collectively to take actions that will minimize our trauma, enabling us to move on with enjoying the time we are given.
Yes, families will always have their differences, jealousies and misunderstandings. If you really think about it, many of the issues that divide us are, in reality, quite petty. Nevertheless, if we follow our hearts and not our pride you will understand that we truly are responsible for one another.
Here's the crux of the matter: While it is not possible to know when we will suddenly find ourselves, or a family member, struck with such diseases as Parkinson’s, Dementia, Alzheimer’s or any other long-term condition, the effect that it has is devastating to not only to the sufferer, but also the spouse who now becomes a caregiver. In many instances, the love relationship is replaced with loneliness and emotional turmoil ...
What then?
When the joy of a marriage which has lasted many years come to an end - because of the death of one of the partners, or due to a serious illness such as Ahlzeimer’s - the other spouse finds themselves under the mental and physical strain of dealing with health, financial and other loses which suddenly appear from nowhere (nowhere, that is, if you haven't planned).
And then, the surviving family often needs to take into consideration the possible deterioration of the spouse's health, either as result of the strain of dealing with their partner's issues, or their own aging process.
So here's my challenging question: Where does that leave love?
My answer: This is where morality comes into play. This is also where, sometimes, pre-conceived notions of such should no longer be considered a simple matter of black and white.
Ponder the following:
Your husband or wife has just been diagnosed with a terminal disease. This particular disease, however, has rendered the sufferer helpless, and hopeless. They cannot talk, they cannot fend for themselves, they cannot bathe.
All of a sudden, the survivor's life alters as we discussed above.
He or she casually meets someone, in a coffee shop, a place of worship, a store ...
This someone is single. They become friends. The spouse discloses what is going on with his or her life. Feeling a bit better after discussing this sadness, emotions begin to develop between the teller, and the listener.
They become close. Perhaps they mutually feel a pull to become more than friends.
After all, they are both, in many senses ... lonely.
And, by the way, you do not have to be a senior citizen to be in this position.
Where, then, do they go from here?
To be continued ...
Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.
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