Thursday, November 21, 2013

FINDIING LIFE'S MEANING


A young couple gets married and goes on a honeymoon. Upon their return she calls her mother, who asks her daughter how she enjoyed the trip. The daughter tells the mother that it was wonderful, that her husband treated her like a queen and made exotic love to her constantly.

She then begins to cry. The obviously concerned mother asks her daughter why she is crying. She replies, “Since we got back it has been terrible. He hollers at me and uses offensive four-letter words that I have never heard before”.

The mother asks, “What kind of four-letter words?” Her daughter responds “Iron, Cook, Dust, Wash.”


If you knew that this was going to be your last day of life, how would you spend it?

Would you iron, cook, dust and wash? Would you tidy up your affairs for your loved ones? 

Would you attempt to live out your wildest dream, or passion?

There is no right or wrong answer. 

There is, however, Bernie's answer: 

If I knew when I was going to die, I would get up on my last day and:

Tell my close family and friends how much I love them;
Help a person(s) in need;
Do something that I always enjoyed;
Return to my home and spend my last hours in the arms of the woman with whom I have an emotional and meaningful love.

But even if I did not know this was going to be my last day - this is how I want to live so as to have a happy and meaningful life until the end.

I can hear it now:

Awww ...

But I've never spoken truer words ...


Death is, without question, a sad subject that nobody wants to discuss, but one which we all will sooner or later need to be prepared for. Doesn’t it make sense, therefore, to talk about it and make plans to deal with it before it is suddenly thrust upon us and creates chaos for everyone involved?

And doesn’t it also make sense to discuss how we can go on enjoying life to its fullest and not die before our time, by planning ahead and setting realistic goals for doing just that when the aging process begins to take its toll?

Recently, a friend asked me if I was ready to die. Up until that moment the truth is that I really had not given a great deal of thought to it. Over the next few days I seriously pondered the question and my answer is yes - I know my time will come and that other than taking reasonable good care of myself and moderating my activities there is not much control I have over the matter. So, why should I worry about it?

I have lived my life, made my mistakes, tried to atone for them and dedicated myself to helping others. That is what I do now each day. Probably the most profound words that I know on this subject were written by one of, if not the, most respected scholars and teachers I know - Rabbi Joshua Heschel in his “Man Is Not Alone”:
  
“The deepest wisdom man can attain is to know that his destiny is to aid, to serve God. This is the meaning of death: the ultimate self-dedication to the divine. Death so understood will not be distorted by the craving for immortality, for this act of giving away is reciprocity; man’s part for God’s gift of life. For the pious man it is a privilege to die”

Each one of us, from the time of our birth, has imbedded in our minds and hearts the choice of being able to do good or evil, be strong or weak, and to change the course of our lives and achieve a high level of happiness.

The choices that we make will determine whether, when we reach our final years, we will just give up and quietly await our last breath, live out our final years in anger over the process of aging or, despite our physical, mental and past experiences enjoy every moment of our remaining existence.


Remember, though it is a truism that circumstances sometimes prevent one from that living this ideal life, let's never lose sight that tomorrow may be better than today.

Because we can indeed make our tomorrows better than our todays. 

You see, I have discovered the secret that will allow even the most infirm among us to do exactly that ...

To be continued ...


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

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