A man is pushing a stroller, wheeling a screaming and crying baby. The man is repeating over and over again, “Okay Bernard, calm down. Come on Bernard, don’t get all worked up. Now Bernard, we will be home soon please try not to be so agitated.”
A passerby asks the man, "Is there anything I can do to help you settle your baby Bernard down?”
The man replied, “No, thank you. And, by the way, the baby’s name is George. I am Bernard.”
Just for the record, my name is Bernard. I have grown up and am writing this blog. And the reason this blog is being written is because the feelings and emotions of our youngsters should be an important matter to the rest of us.
And ... we further need to consider the emotional impact that sad happenings have upon them, as well as their sincere desire to help ease the pain of others.
Many times I have been asked, "Why?" I think that Life and Death are subjects we should openly speak about to our children and young families. As you will see from the two stories included below, the answer is because they - our children - are far more curious, sensitive and involved in those subjects then we think, and have questions they want answered but are afraid to ask.
Here is a perfect example of a child's sensitivity:
Jennifer Partin was a 9-year-old girl when she and her brother visited her grandparents for Thanksgiving. Along the other guests was a well-known Rabbi, whose wife was comatose and in a rehab center.
Jennifer’s grandfather told the children the story of how the Rabbi’s wife, a lover of horses, had fallen off of one. She was seriously injured. Following dinner, the Rabbi left early to visit his wife, who passed away the next morning.
Before the children left to return to their home a long distance away, the grandfather told them the tragic news.
Two weeks later the man called me, his host, and asked me if I was sitting down. I said, "No." The man then said, "Please sit down as I want to read something to you."
He then read me a note that he had received from my granddaughter, in which she expressed her deep sadness over the death of the man’s wife, promised him her love and support and told him that he should gather strength from the fact that, as her Mom had told her, the man’s wife was now with “God”. In closing, she said that should the man needed anything he should please call her and let her know.
Two grown men were balling their eyes out during that conversation.
The host then called the young girl’s mother to see if she knew about the note that her daughter had sent. She was completely and, of course, pleasantly surprised, although her daughter had told her about the man’s wife’s death.
Two weeks later, the child wrote the following note to the man - as a follow up to his note of gratitude to her:
“Dear ______,
I was really excited to finally hear from you. I was especially happy to hear that writing your new book helped with some of your grief. I know I told you this before but anytime you want to write to get more grief away I’m always here.
Me and my mom talked about it a lot and my mom told me that dying is a happy thing because you are then reunited with God. I hope you are feeling better because I know from what you told me in your letter to me that you had gotten a lot of letters. Well I have to go. Hope to hear from you soon. My brother Ryan says to tell you “Hi” and is also very sorry about your loss.
Best wishes always.
Jennifer
These words of wisdom from the mind of my then-10-year-old granddaughter Jennifer, now a grown woman with two young children. The story came unsolicited from my dear friend, Rabbi Edward Zerin, whose tragic story I tell about in my book.
How could there be any greater example of the reason why such matters have such an effect on every person and why young and old alike need to openly share life’s happiness and sadness?
Then there is the exciting story of Matthew Leonard, a 6th grader who, if he could would live in an airplane. One day, when he was in the 3rd grade, Matthew told his mother that he felt that Veterans were being forgotten and then came up with the idea of starting “Operation: Respect and Honor”
It is a Holiday card drive in which students in schools, including Matthew and his mother - who make and collect cards and bundle them u, with candy canes - deliver them to a veteran’s’ transitional living facility in Los Angeles.
They have enlisted the help of many organizations, including Rotary Clubs. So far, over 4500 cards have been distributed to Vets without families - and what is most important to know is the Matthew insists on delivering them personally.
These stories are just two examples of the kinds of things that demonstrate the passion and concern young people have for those who have needs. The stories also make strong arguments for the priority all of us have to help prepare our loved ones for the travel through life.
“It is essential that we enable young people to see themselves as participants in one of the most exciting eras in history, and to have a sense of purpose in relationship to it."
- Nelson Rockefeller
Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.
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