ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all about the front yard. The door to his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and a throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, Breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand lay piled up by the back door.

The man quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and other piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried that she might be ill, or worse!!

He found her lounging in the bedroom, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She smiled, looked up at him and asked how his day went. He looked at her, bewildered, and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," he replied reluctantly.

She answered, "We'll, today I didn't do it!!"


Common sense says that I should not have to write about the subject of today's blog because everyone knows what steps they need to take to protect those elderly persons in their life -- for whose health and care they are responsible.

Unfortunately, however, that is not the case.

Over the past year I have visited dozens of hospitals, nursing homes, private homes and assisted living centers where the aged are being cared for. In addition, six of my close friends have either  died or are totally incapacitated due to injuries from falls that could have been prevented - had those responsible for them acted as they knew they should have.

Here is just one example of what I am referring to. There is a man in an assisted living center who is 101 years old. He is almost totally blind and walks (actually shuffles) with a walker. He comes from a very caring family and has a remarkable mind for a man his age. But he cannot find his way without help, and often other residents of the facility have to aid him - even though they themselves are not physically in good shape either.

He himself does not want help and his family has asked the facility to watch over him, but they are short-staffed and cannot always do so. Anyone who sees him will agree that he needs a full time caregiver at his side at all times.

The reluctance of his family to act, and the inability of the staff at the facility, is creating a catastrophe in the making.

If the failure of those responsible to make certain their loved ones have someone at their sides at all times is not enough, I just heard an advertisement by a major hospice organization promoting hospice care by phone.

What kind of society have we become?

If someone is sick enough to need hospice care, shouldn't we care enough to be certain it is hands-on and not remote? Maybe it's just cheaper, but come on!

I have lived with this kind of situation and I care about the safety and welfare of those who, in their declining years, obviously need minute-by-minute attention. They need it whether they want it or not, and you need to give it.

Don't YOU?


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.