THE 45 LESSONS OF LIFE ...

Very often blog readers send me quotations, copies of articles and funny stories which are so appropriate to the things I write about, that with their permission I use them in place of my own thoughts.

My biggest contributor to this process is Joan Vieweger, a principal of my favorite custom candy maker Choclatique (www.choclatique.com). I know you will enjoy its message.

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Regina Brett
90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio:

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short enjoy it.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the future.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don't worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

For the world's finest instant coffee, please visit me at http://bernardsotis.myorganogold.com/products .

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

A TRIBUTE TO THE MOMS OF THE WORLD

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

Today’s blog begins with an apology to all of the mothers in the world. How could I have been so careless as to write about a father’s role in our life, and completely have neglected to honor our mothers on Mother’s Day?

It is no wonder that I did not sleep well for the past month; my wonderful late mother, Marion Otis, and my remarkable Bubbie, Minnie Goldberg, were punishing me for such an oversight. And, while I never knew my paternal grandmother, Sarah Otis, I am certain she was right there with them.

I first became aware of the incredibly difficult task a mother plays in our lives in the late 1930’s, when America began to prepare for WWII. While my father’s role in an essential industry kept him out of the military, most of the men in our family and all others as well were being drafted. This left big voids in the care of families, as well as in the labor market - roles that had to be filled by mothers and grandmothers.

I watched as my mother went back to work, leaving early each morning after getting us off to school, returning at dinner time and helping Grandma get us ready for dinner, helping us with our homework and getting us ready for bed,

In addition, Mom had to take work breaks to get us to doctor’s appointments when we were ill, in need of various vaccinations and other child raising necessities.

In today’s world, while Dad does help with many of those chores, it is Mom who not only has to work to help pay the high cost of living, education and healthcare, as well as the growth of one parent families ... the additional burdens she carries are increasingly difficult.

And, in addition to all of this, our moms are faced with the increasingly difficult task of caring for their aging parents and our grandmothers who, if they are lucky enough to be in reasonably in good health, take care of their mates who themselves are dealing with memory or other physical problems.

So all of us, including the mates of these wonderful women who carry such a larger burden, and all of us including their husbands, need to shout a big "Thank You!" and find other ways to demonstrate appreciation for the efforts they make to see that we have a good life.

Finally, a word of advice. Please make an effort to forgive our moms if they don’t always see the world as we do; after all, you may be a mom some day.

“The mother–child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent.”

Erich Fromm

My new Book: "How to Prepare For Old Age When You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family" will be available soon. Call or E-Mail me for details.See my Blog:seniormomentswithbernardsotis.blogspot.com/

TO BE A FATHER

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

"So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic ... "Try doing it with the engine running"



In a few short days we will be paying tribute to our fathers' lives, and while I confess that I did not write a blog for our mothers on Mother's Day (that tribute will come soon), having had a most wonderful father myself - one whose qualities I could not even come close to emulating, it is important to stop for a moment and look at how your lives are affected by the man of the house.

Fathers have no formal training, they learn as they are doing. They play a major role in financially sustaining the family, act as advisors and consultants to the children of the family and have the task of making certain that our mothers are supported in their efforts to give us a good life.

Fathers also have one other difficult job, one which often places great pressure on them and that is to make certain that while teaching us right from wrong and advising us how to live a good life and to enjoy success, that they not give into their weaknesses and act in a way which is in conflict with what they are teaching us.

Another joke: A father was sitting with his son telling him to always be truthful. The telephone rang and the son answered it. He turned to his dad and said, "It is Mr. Adams your insurance man." 

The father replied  "Tell him I am not here"

Dads work long hours, often travel in their work and also carry the burden of taking care of their aging parents (as well as those of their wife). And sometimes in order to protect their family will silently carry burdens that make their own life difficult.


So to all you young folks out there I have this message, love your Dad, forgive his errors in judgment, listen to his advice and teachings while at the same time using your own instincts in making decisions that affect your life ...

When you yourself become a father you will suddenly realize the meaning this blog.

This lesson speaks for itself.- It's not easy being a Dad and at the same time learning to be one.

Have a Happy Fathers Day.



Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO?

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all about the front yard. The door to his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and a throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room, the TV was blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, Breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand lay piled up by the back door.

The man quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and other piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried that she might be ill, or worse!!

He found her lounging in the bedroom, still in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She smiled, looked up at him and asked how his day went. He looked at her, bewildered, and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," he replied reluctantly.

She answered, "We'll, today I didn't do it!!"


Common sense says that I should not have to write about the subject of today's blog because everyone knows what steps they need to take to protect those elderly persons in their life -- for whose health and care they are responsible.

Unfortunately, however, that is not the case.

Over the past year I have visited dozens of hospitals, nursing homes, private homes and assisted living centers where the aged are being cared for. In addition, six of my close friends have either  died or are totally incapacitated due to injuries from falls that could have been prevented - had those responsible for them acted as they knew they should have.

Here is just one example of what I am referring to. There is a man in an assisted living center who is 101 years old. He is almost totally blind and walks (actually shuffles) with a walker. He comes from a very caring family and has a remarkable mind for a man his age. But he cannot find his way without help, and often other residents of the facility have to aid him - even though they themselves are not physically in good shape either.

He himself does not want help and his family has asked the facility to watch over him, but they are short-staffed and cannot always do so. Anyone who sees him will agree that he needs a full time caregiver at his side at all times.

The reluctance of his family to act, and the inability of the staff at the facility, is creating a catastrophe in the making.

If the failure of those responsible to make certain their loved ones have someone at their sides at all times is not enough, I just heard an advertisement by a major hospice organization promoting hospice care by phone.

What kind of society have we become?

If someone is sick enough to need hospice care, shouldn't we care enough to be certain it is hands-on and not remote? Maybe it's just cheaper, but come on!

I have lived with this kind of situation and I care about the safety and welfare of those who, in their declining years, obviously need minute-by-minute attention. They need it whether they want it or not, and you need to give it.

Don't YOU?


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

That's The Story of Life

Today's Short Reading from the Bible... from Genesis:

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth.

Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed.


Every once in a while I come across a writing or some poetry that describes the journey of life so eloquently that it is best quoted than for me to say it.

My friend and ardent blog reader Joan Vieweger, a principal of Choclatique (http://www.choclatique.com) who, along with her food genius partner Ed Engoron, run one of, if not 'the' world’s greatest of chocolate companies sent this poem to me.

While we do not know who wrote it, it certainly is certainly a powerful message and does not need any commentary from me:


Another year has passed

And we're all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter

And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago

When life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand

About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,

Football games and lunches.
Now we go to funeral homes 

And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,

From parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches 

And whine the night away.

We used to go out dining,

And couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags, 

Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel

To places near and far.

Now we get sore asses 

From riding in the car.

 We used to go to nightclubs

And drink a little booze.

Now we stay home at night

And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,

And now my tale is told. 

So, enjoy each day and live it up...

Before you're too damned old!

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

HOW PREPARED ARE YOU? A TALE OF TWO PROFESSIONALS.

I guess I'm in a humorous frame of mind this morning. Here's another ...

Three nurses died and went to heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. 

To the first, he asked, "What did you do on Earth and why should you go to heaven?" 
"I was a nurse in an inner city hospital," she replied. "I worked to bring healing and peace to the poor, suffering city children." 

"Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter." And in through the Gates she went. 

To the next, he asked the same question, "So what did you do on Earth?" 

"I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in Africa," she replied. "For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many peoples and tribes with a hand of healing and with a message of God's love." 

"How touching," said St. Peter. "You too may enter." And in she went. 

He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, "So, what did you do back on Earth?" 

After some hesitation, she explained, "I was just a nurse at an H.M.O." 

St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Okay, you may enter also." 

"Whew!" said the nurse. "For a moment there, I thought you weren't going to let me in." 

"Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days..."

And, on that note ...

This is the story of two remarkable women, Noma Kaz and Sherry Litt, who work seven days a week and are dedicated to providing quality professional home health care services to their community.

They own and operate Lifeline Companion Services* in Southern California.

While I have made it a point not to commercialize my blog messages, this one must be told and I feel it important to provide real life examples of the point I am trying to make. 

After all, reality is essential in dealing with the subject of birth and death.

Similar services are available all over the country and I strongly urge my aging readers and their loved ones to immediately research the availability of qualified agencies like this in your geographical area.

Professionals like Noma and Sherry take time to know their patients, employ highly- skilled aids who can be trusted, and monitor what is happening in your home to be certain that you are receiving what you need, when you need it, and in a manner that gives you confidence that you are in the best hands.

They clearly understand the changes and challenges that home health care is undergoing, and the significant rise in costs that are effecting providers and users of such service. 

Their knowledge of licensing requirements, ethics, immigration laws, state and local healthcare laws and the importance of being able to properly communicate both with their clients and their families is part and parcel of the professionalism of such healthcare providers.

If you think that you can wait until the need arises for such services, you are making a huge mistake. Start early in life and continually update your information. If you think that all you have to do is pick up the phone to find such services you are wrong, and if you think that any cheap laborer can do the job you are again quite wrong.

I recall driving home from the hospital following Anna’s emergency surgery, and being told that she would need a home health care professional and wondering what to do. We were totally unprepared and did not even know what that meant. Fortunately, a close relative knew these wonderful woman and my problem was quickly resolved..

Regardless of where you live take action now – do not wait for the need to arise. Be prepared; it will be one of the best things you did.

While my upcoming book discusses this in detail, until it comes out and you wish to learn more about this issue, please send me an email at Seymour.Otis@gmail.com and I will send information to you.

*Please note that while I have no financial involvement in Lifeline Companion Services, I do act as a marketing advisor to them as a result of my experience during Anna’s illness and geographical location.

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

Elders Benefiting Youth

A beautiful woman goes has a date with a very handsome man and they end up in the front seat of his car with their arms around each other. They are enjoying it, and he asks her if she would like to go in the backseat. She says "no". He asks her again and again she says "no". He becomes upset and asks her again. "Why not?" She replies, "Because I want to stay up here with you!"


Humility:

"Honor runs away from those who seek it, while honor pursues one who runs away from it."

"Honor runs away from one who pretends to run away from it."


Now that my book is in its final editing form and in the hands of the publisher, I think about what my next goal is. What does an 85 year old 16 year old kid with the strong mind, many years of business accomplishments and who is highly motivated do with his time???

And then I had a great idea inspired by a young woman by the name of Nooneh Kradjian, who I met accidentally while attending a rotary meeting.

Nooneh is a well-respected educator raising two teenage sons and she operates a Tutoring School in Southern California. Her unselfish dedication to helping to helping young people achieve their highest capabilities has earned her acclaim by all who know her.

One of her goals is to find a way to help underprivileged youth receive the educational help they need without cost, and she spends every living moment pursuing ways to do just that.

It occurred to me that older folks, like me, can help make that happen, while at the same time keeping involved in life.

I am not just speaking about myself, but all of those who I meet everyday who are retired and bored. We how about this---why not let the world know that you want to live out your life by sharing all that you have learned and offering to share your knowledge with those who are just starting, or are struggling, to grow their careers/businesses by helping them? You can do that via phone and computers for a few pennies of spending money, which can be passed on to Tutoring Schools like Nooneh's.
To die and take your knowledge with you is to me a life wasted. I can spend hours a day speaking to those with Marketing/Sales and Management needs creating excitement in my life and helping them in a most economical way.

It is not my intent to take business away from all of those excellent firms who help businesses prosper and grow, but rather to let the multitude of small growing business organizations with limited budgets know that there are wise folks out there who just for the love of what they do and know, enrich others as they continue the happy journey of life.

If you fall into either of these categories give me a call and let's become teammates as we share our knowledge while at the same time adding to the quality of our society.



Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.