THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A DEAD END!

Before beginning today’s Blog I want to bring my readers up to date on the story of young seven-year -old Amalia who I recently told you about. She has had surgery for her cancer and is about to go to Boston to a special radiation center to see if they can save her life. If you would like to help us raise the $300,000 needed to try to save her life, go to www.fundme.com---many. Many thanks.

Humor does not seem appropriate for today. Instead I repeat my Poem for her.

Pain and Suffering are not reserved Just for the Aging

Amalia is tiny, petite and ever so sweet

Just 7 years old and with a big smile did she us greet

As she laid quietly on the hospital bed

Gently resting her troubled spine and head

There was a dangerous growth eating away the bones in her body

Raising serious concern in the minds of her parents and everybody

That the life of this delicate loving child was in danger

And the community began in unity to say prayers for her

As we move through life there is one fact that is abundantly clear

That at times we must question why nature instills in us such pain and fear

But if we keep true to our faith we somehow gather the strength to grow through the storm

And with hope as our anchor return our life to its norm

I belong to an internet business discussion group. When I opened my computer this morning I found the following question on the site “What do you do when you have reached a dead end?” 

This reminded me of a situation that occurred when I was in my mid-teens. I had taken a job working for a major department store in Detroit. A few weeks after starting I was asked to attend a sales training program being conducted after hours in a storeroom of the facility.

The person conducting the session was a training consultant. He started the program by making the following statement, which has stuck with me all of these years: “If anyone in this room can look at a person who enters this store and know whether they will make a substantial purchase, we will pay you a million dollars to stand on the street and identify such individuals.”

This same principal holds true for all that we do in life. Each day the vast majority of human beings fail to recognize the wonderful opportunities they have for growth in their lives by allowing the fear of failure get in their way.

How many times a day does every one of us set our sights too low, and not understand that every time we communicate with another human being there is a friendship waiting to be formed, a business opportunity lost ... additional happiness to be achieved.

Every day I speak with middle and aging adults who tell me that they lost their mate and are living alone - with wonderful memories of the past. Life is not about the past - it is about today and tomorrow.

There is no such thing as a “Dead End”. When you are frustrated, and think you are faced with a dead-end, then move on and upward. Keep trying to achieve your goals and if you have done life right, when you leave this world your knowledge and spirit will remain to inspire others who you have met along the way and for whom you have set an example.

We were not born into this world to die. We were created to achieve greatness and live a valued life worthy of being remembered with pride. Only the weak fail, so look into the mirror and ask yourself, "Why I am here?"

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

TECHNOLOGY AND THE MEANING OF HUMAN

Technology Has Not Really Changed Human Needs


Some definitions of Marketing:

You see a beautiful woman at a party, walk up to her and say, “I am very rich. Will you marry me?”

That is direct marketing.

You are at a party with friends and you see a beautiful woman. One of your friends approaches her and, pointing to you, says, “My friend is very rich. Would you marry him?”

That is advertising.

You are at a party and you see a beautiful woman. You ask for her telephone number. The next day you call her and tell her you are very rich. You ask her to marry you.

That is telemarketing.

You’re at a party, you see a beautiful woman and you walk up to her to buy her a drink,. You then offer to drive her home and tell her you are rich and famous. You ask her to marry you.

That is public relations.

You’re at a private party and you see a beautiful woman. She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich! Can you marry me?"

That is brand recognition.


There is a commonly held view that technology has changed society and the way we think and live. Just read newspapers and magazines, or watch television and the internet, and you will find all kinds of articles which speak about how the violence and crime we are hearing about daily is due to this change in technology.

My friends, the only thing that has changed is the way we communicate with each other. That is all. This is what has crippled our ability to establish and maintain the most important element of our lives, i.e., the ability to establish and maintain meaningful long- term relationships.

I was told recently that because of technology and the need for both parents to work, our youth no longer have their parents around them to guide and advise them. Nonsense. Parents are no longer around their children because they are using technology to babysit them.

Remember during World War II our dads (mine was not drafted because he was in an essential industry) were mostly off to war and our mothers had to work? Many of my generation were left on their own with a babysitter.

What was different was that, unlike now, our grandparents were living near us and we had their wisdom and experiences to guide us. Today, families frequently live far apart do not have that luxury.

Here is a message to all of today’s parents: Come back into your child’s life. Have family dinners, listen to and hear what your children are telling you. Be better aware of what their daily activities are.

Your children have questions about life. They need your guidance and stories of your experiences. They want to know that it is okay for them to make decisions about their lives. And they need to understand why faith and goodness are important as they live in a complex community.

Sitting in front of the television gives them a scary picture of what life is about. You need to not only explain how the hatred they hear about 24 hours a day is not what life is about. And, by becoming actively involved in doing good, you need to demonstrate that each one of us has a responsibility to make this a better word.

When you teach your children that while technology has helped us make many advances, it has not changed one bit the singlemost important of human needs - and that is the need to look one another in the eyes when we communicate, and not rely on indirect methods of communications.

I watched a dynamic, beautiful, captivating speaker recently as she made a business presentation using props and a large powerpoint screen. When she asked my opinion of her presentation, I said, "Turn off the powerpoint, put away the props and have the audience concentrate on looking at you.”

The next time she did her presentation, she did as I suggested. Later, she told me, with great excitement ... "It worked!"

We are not robots and we are not technical things. We are sensitive human beings and need to live our lives accordingly. We survived biblical times and we survived and grew without telephones. Computers may make it seem easier, but they unless we live smarter they will in the long run destroy our character.




Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

Weathering Life's Storms

Today’s Blog is dedicated to a determined and precious young child who, along with her family, needs our prayers as they go through a period of suffering and pain.

The story speaks for itself and once again underscores the fact that we all need to be prepared for the storms which affect our lives.

A dear friend of mine called and told me that a close friend of hers had a 7 year old daughter was complaining of headaches and when they took her to the doctor it was determined that she had a growth on her spine where it connects to the head.

She was in the hospital in critical condition, where tests were being done to determine the nature of the growth and what had to be done to save her life.

My friend asked me to accompany her to the hospital and help comfort the child’s family. I was most happy to do so.

When we arrived in the child’s room we were overwhelmed by the sight of Amalia, lying in bed with a brace around her neck.

We stayed for several hours as this small young person smiled, joked with us and played some of the games my friend had brought for her.

There is much to be done medically, including a surgery as her life hangs in the balance.

With tears in my eyes this Poem is written and dedicated to brave Amalia with prayers for her full recovery.


Pain and Suffering are not reserved Just for the Aging

Amalia is tiny, petite and ever so sweet
Just 7 years old and with a big smile did she us greet
As she laid quietly on the hospital bed
Gently resting her troubled spine and head

There was a dangerous growth eating away the bones in her body
Raising serious concern in the minds of her parents and everybody
That the life of this delicate loving child was in danger
And the community began in unity to say prayers for her

As we move through life there is one fact that is abundantly clear
That at times we must question why nature instills in us such pain and fear
But if we keep true to our faith we somehow gather the strength to grow through the storm
And with hope as our anchor return our life to its norm


Bernie Otis


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

Life’s Secret Ingredient That Never Gets Old

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted as he stormed off to work.  

Later in the day, the doctor decided he should apologize. He called his home and the phone rang for a long time before his wife answered.
  

He asked her, “What took you so long to answer?"
   

She said, "I was in bed."
  

He asked "What were you doing in bed this late in the day?"


She replied, "Getting a second opinion."

So often I hear people say how happy they are and yet they fear that the day will come as that get older that they will lose their zest for life.

It has been my experience that the aging process, while slowing me down a bit, has had just the opposite effect. As I wrote my book and met and spoke with persons in their 60’s 70’s and up, one thing became abundantly clear: It is because my beloved Anna taught me about life’s secret ingredient, which you will learn about as you read this blog. I use this secret ingredient every day.

Whether they were married couples still able to interact, single persons in warm relationships or individuals who on a daily basis found ways to love and help others, those who daily expressed their love openly were the happiest.

No matter how old we are, no matter what our physical being, Love is the ingredient that gets us happily from the beginning of life to its end.

Just consider every stage of your life and how the love of your parents, your family and friends made your days so much more enjoyable when you kept your heart open to that love.

Oh yes, bad judgments were made at times, and just as Aaron’s sons went in different directions, the sooner the wounds were healed and love returned the happier the they became.

While this blog is about the love between two married aging people who have been an inspiration to me. They recently celebrated their 21st anniversary and although each has medical and physical problems their love for each other is in full blossom every day. 

However, the message goes much deeper. It is really about how at any age in your life you can find true happiness by Sprinkling the Ingredient Love on your relationships. Don’t waste one single day. People die, but love lives forever.

Yes, this poem is dedicated to my friends Ruth and Burt who enrich my life continually as they demonstrate in a real life way what the ingredient of love can add to our joy of living.

Age Does not Limit Lovebirds

He rides his motor cart wherever he needs to go

She pushes her walker very close behind

Although the neuropathy pain he feels from head to toe

He is one of the most kind and upbeat men you will ever find

She is beautiful and has always a smile on her face as she greets everyone around

And they help and encourage each other to be happy every single day

They express openly and lovingly how exited they are each other to have found

It is most exciting to see their many family members gather around them as for dinner the often stay

He tells funny jokes and laughs and sings with great delight

She always does her best to encourage him even when he’s off key

They go to in-house movies almost every night

To watch them as they hold hands is a great delight to see.

They say that as we age life’s excitement fades away

Well my friends there is no statement more unfitted

As Ruth and Burt so clearly prove in every way

It just takes two warm persons who to each other are committed.

Bernie Otis

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

And, please be sure to support my friend Lorrie Caplan Shern's work. Information about her book and blog can be found at www.givingbirthtomyparents.com, and her wonderful songs can be found on www.soundcloud.com. Her phone is 720-652-6655.

THE GREATEST MYTH OF ALL

A man walks into a bar and sees a very attractive woman sitting by herself. He has a drink and leaves, but returns the next day and the woman is once again sitting alone.

This goes on for a number of days and he finally decides to go over and talk to her. They have nice conversation and then he asks her if she would like to go back to his apartment with him.

She declines his offer and says “I suppose that it sounds crazy in this day and age, but I am trying to keep myself pure until I find the man I really love.”

The man is surprised and he says to her “I am sure that must be very difficult”

She responds by saying “For me it is really not to hard, but it really has my husband very upset.

Something strange and wonderfully exciting has recently happened to me and I want to share it with all of you, my friends.

I woke up around 1:A.M. recently and could not get back to sleep, so I went to my computer, turned it on and was staring at a blank page. What was I doing there I thought. My mind was a complete blank and then, don’t ask me why I typed in the word Myth.

And then I started to think about my Book and all of those who had been advising me and guiding my efforts to write it and BOOM  it occurred to me that everyone was giving me credit for writing it, when in fact I could not have possible done it on my own.

30 minutes later – unbelievable as it sounds the following words appeared on the screen:

The Greatest Myth of All

(I did it on my own)

Of all the well known Myths that we hear spoken of so often

Is the one which is least true of all “I did it on my own”

There exists no one on the face of earth not a creature or a person

Who can with a straight face say “I got there all alone”.

Did not your Parents advise and even help to guide you get there?

Was not your family there to pick you up when you fell down?

And when you were lost and quite unsure

Were friends not there to be certain that you did not drown

What about the teachers along with your faith provide the knowledge and support

That made your success most likely to be more achievable

And did not the accountant, professionals and the attorney

Who were standing ready in the background make your story so believable?

As you took the mystery trip and went on this important journey

So please don’t try to fool the world about the things you have done

It may have been your idea; you most likely were the source

It is okay to boast and cheer yourself for having a successful run

But just between the two of us don’t forget all the others who helped you complete the course.

Like out of nowhere I had suddenly become Poet and have now written over 30 Poems which will be soon put into a separate Book and yes shared with you. I keep laughing about this new thing in my life.

We all have it within us to do new things, change our routine, bring out our inner skills and knowledge and share it with the world. But we must also not kid ourselves into believing that we have done it on our own.

Like out of nowhere I had suddenly become Poet and have now written over 30 Poems which will be soon put into a separate Book and yes shared with you. I keep laughing about this new thing in my life.

We all have it within us to do new things, change our routine, bring out our inner skills and knowledge and share it with the world. But we must also not kid ourselves into believing that we have done it on our own.


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

THE 85 YEAR OLD 16 YEAR OLD KID

When I was a 16 year old kid and saw an 85 year old man holding hands with a beautiful woman slightly younger than himself,  I asked myself  “How is that possible?"

But now that I am that 85 year old 16 year old KID, I think I finally know the answer

Love is like the seed of a rose bush

When you plant it in the Garden of Eden.

And then feed and nourish it

letting the sun and the moon shine upon it

You will smell the rich aroma and feel the love 

That comes from heaven above.

Bernie Otis

But first some exciting news: The reason you have not seen a Blog for the past two weeks is because I was finishing my Book and it now it is in the hands of the publisher and soon will be introduced to the public-WOW-Thanks for all of your support.

I have written extensively about the aging process and how society shields its youth from  the tragedies of life, thinking they do not understand such things at an early age.

The fact is that they do and I want, in today’s Blog, to demonstrate that as vividly as possible. In this regard, I honor the memory of Jay Glaser, a 51 year old highly-respected family man and attorney in California who died as a result of  an automobile accident on January 11, 2014.

As his family was sorting though his papers, they came upon some Poems that he had written at the age of 14, an age that society deems young and not quite ready to think of things like aging, serious love, planning for death etc.etc. 

Hopefully after reading these beautiful Poems that came from the heart of a mere KID you will agree with me that we all need to take the thoughts of our youth seriously and encourage them to speak out about their thinking

That is why this 85 Year Old 16 Year Old KID has written a Book talking about them and why in that Book I carry on a conversation with them so that they understand that they are important.

I know from speaking with Jay’s mother, Judy Cotton, a skilled professional, at his funeral the impact of finding Jay’s words had on her as she bid farewell to a son she so love.

May his words inspire us for years to come.

Poems Written By Jay Glaser – March 12, 1978

Jay Martin Glaser -  7/17/1963 – January 11, 2014

“WHEN  I  DIE  I  WANT  NO  MISERY

I  WANT  PEOPLE  TO  BE  HAPPY

REMEMBERING  HAPPY  THINGS”

___________________

“I  AM  NOT  A  MOURNER

I  LIVED  A  LIFE  OF  HAPPINESS

AND  THIS  IS  THE  MEMORY

THEY  WILL  VALUE  FOR  ME”

____________________

SHUT  YOUR  EYES  AND   THINK  OF  TIME   PASSING

THINK  OF   WHAT  THE   FUTURE   WILL  BE

NOBODY   KNOWS  WHAT  THE  FUTURE  WILL  BRING

IT  IS  TRULY   A  MYSTERY.

_______________________

OPEN   YOUR  EYES  AND  EXPERIENCE   LIFE

MAKE  LIFE   WHAT   IT   WILL BE

FOR  LIFE  IS  ONLY   WHAT YOU  MAKE  IT

TICK  TOCK  TICK  TOCK  TICK  TOCK

_________________________________

May he rest in everlasting Peace and his words live on into eternity

Bernie Otis

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com

What Do You Do With Your Old Toys?

A man pulls over to the side of the road when he sees police lights in his rearview mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asks the officer. “Oh, no!” screams the man, jumping out of the car. “Calm down, it isn’t that serious,” says the officer. “Wait till my family finds out.” The officer asks, “Where’s your family?” The man turns to him and says, in a panic: “They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”

Each day of our lives is filled with events which, if we would only stop, take a deep breath and see the potential they present for inspiration, can add meaning.

Several months ago I announced, on this blog, that my fourth great grandchild, Caroline, had been born. Her precious mother sent me a picture of her taken just after her birth. She looked so tiny, eyes closed, dressed in a cute outfit and resting in her mother’s arms – a "new toy" had been born into our family

And, alas, over the past eight weeks Carolyn, as seen by the latest picture received early just this morning, has suddenly grown from being a toy and became a child - a person with a smile on her face, big wide eyes and alert and well. She is no longer a “toy”, but a human being on her way up the ladder of life.

Later in the day I was visiting a 90-year-old friend in a skilled nursing facility. During our conversation, a physical therapist entered the room and said she had to have him do some exercises for 45 minutes. I agreed to wait in the visitor’s room.

As I was seated in that room I could see all the way down the corridor, which was lined with about 15 wheelchairs filled with aging persons in their 80’s and 90’s, in various forms of alertness and seated positions.

As I reflect on this scene, I realized that these were the remnants of toys born years before. As our toy no longer and now traveling the journey of life, it is both joyous and sad to see Carolyn's transition taking place. Why sad? Because I saw the elders, and many of them either didn't know, or accept the fact, that anything like this aging was going to happen to them.

How many times have I heard people say, “Oh, we do not have to worry, we have good insurance." Or, “We have a nice home and we can live our lives out there.” Or, “I don’t want to give up my independence, or burden my family.”

Talk to those who have experienced the real effects of that kind of thinking and you will quickly learn what a tremendous burden it in fact imposes on a family, and the danger it imposes on “old toys” when the proper panning is not done years in advance. More deaths occur among the aging as a result of falls than for almost any other reason. Simply because we are unwilling to believe that it can happen to us. From an early age we need to begin speaking to our loved ones about these issues as well as become realistic about our own aging process, and our willingness to give up our independence.

I would ask every person to answer this question; “What one thing would you want someone giving a eulogy upon your death (and we are all going to die) to say about you?” What I would want said about me is that I was “a responsible person.” A responsible person is one who plans the stages of their lives so as not to become an “old toy,” that someone now has to figure out how to find a place for when it's no longer useful.

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com