WHO SAYS LOVE IS ONLY ABOUT SEX

A 95-year-old man goes for his annual physical check-up. The doctor asks him how he feels. He tells the doctor that he feels great and even has a beautiful 25-year-old girlfriend who is pregnant.

The doctor smiles and tells the patient a story about an elderly patient of his who lives in a cottage near a lake in a forest area.

One day, the man hears a noise and looks out the window. He sees a bear on his property. He reaches for his rifle and, instead - by mistake - grabs a broomstick, opens the door and shoots the bear. The bear dies instantly.

The 95-year-old patient laughs and says, “That is obviously not possible; someone else must have shot the bear."

The doctor responds by saying, “That is exactly my point”

Fifteen years ago, as I approached my 70th birthday, I came up with what I believed to be a humorous response when calling to speak to potential clients, and were told that they were out of town, busy on a call, or in a meeting etc. I just said, “I understand. Please ask them to call me when they can and please tell them that I am going to be 70 years old and I do not have a lot of time.”

WOW! And now, in two weeks,

I will celebrate my 85th birthday. Is that scary? No it is not. 

Today's blog is dedicated to you - all of my family, my personal, talented business and professional friends of both many years and new. All of you who read my blogs. All of you who call me even though we live miles apart, as well who come to visit me whenever you are in California.

These are love affairs of the heart which make each day of life meaningful. I especially want to again thank all of you for the cards, phone calls, baskets and donations sent to me when my beloved Anna, who many in the hotel industry knew through her attendance at conferences with me, passed away.

Sadly we have lost many of our dear friends this past year, but they live on in our hearts.

Finally, I am still active involved as a consultant. My new book, which you have been reading about, is in the final stages of publication and I am out speaking about it. All of you have made this possible by the inspiration you give me through our loving relationships.

So how will I spend my big birthday? To paraphrase one of my favorite songs, “Just thinking of you-and the wonderful experiences we’ve had.”

And what would I like for my birthday? Nothing that will cost a dime. Just share my blogs, get others to sign on and help me spread the word that no matter what cards you have been dealt through the journey - life itself, though filled with pain and suffering, can be happy and joyful, and as I have discovered.

"The past is done and over, the future is ours to mold.”

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

CHILDREN ARE PEOPLE TOO

A man is pushing a stroller, wheeling a screaming and crying baby. The man is repeating over and over again, “Okay Bernard, calm down. Come on Bernard, don’t get all worked up. Now Bernard, we will be home soon please try not to be so agitated.”

A passerby asks the man, "Is there anything I can do to help you settle your baby Bernard down?”

The man replied, “No, thank you. And, by the way, the baby’s name is George. I am Bernard.”

Just for the record, my name is Bernard. I have grown up and am writing this blog. And the reason this blog is being written is because the feelings and emotions of our youngsters should be an important matter to the rest of us. 

And ... we further need to consider the emotional impact that sad happenings have upon them, as well as their sincere desire to help ease the pain of others. 

Many times I have been asked, "Why?" I think that Life and Death are subjects we should openly speak about to our children and young families. As you will see from the two stories included below, the answer is because they - our children - are far more curious, sensitive and involved in those subjects then we think, and have questions they want answered but are afraid to ask.


Here is a perfect example of a child's sensitivity: 

Jennifer Partin was a 9-year-old girl when she and her brother visited her grandparents for Thanksgiving. Along the other guests was a well-known Rabbi, whose wife was comatose and in a rehab center. 

Jennifer’s grandfather told the children the story of how the Rabbi’s wife, a lover of horses, had fallen off of one. She was seriously injured. Following dinner, the Rabbi left early to visit his wife, who passed away the next morning.

Before the children left to return to their home a long distance away, the grandfather told them the tragic news.

Two weeks later the man called me, his host, and asked me if I was sitting down. I said, "No." The man then said, "Please sit down as I want to read something to you."

He then read me a note that he had received from my granddaughter, in which she expressed her deep sadness over the death of the man’s wife, promised him her love and support and told him that he should gather strength from the fact that, as her Mom had told her, the man’s wife was now with “God”. In closing, she said that should the man needed anything he should please call her and let her know.

Two grown men were balling their eyes out during that conversation.

The host then called the young girl’s mother to see if she knew about the note that her daughter had sent. She was completely and, of course, pleasantly surprised, although her daughter had told her about the man’s wife’s death.

Two weeks later, the child wrote the following note to the man - as a follow up to his note of gratitude to her:

“Dear ______, 

I was really excited to finally hear from you. I was especially happy to hear that writing your new book helped with some of your grief. I know I told you this before but anytime you want to write to get more grief away I’m always here.

Me and my mom talked about it a lot and my mom told me that dying is a happy thing because you are then reunited with God. I hope you are feeling better because I know from what you told me in your letter to me that you had gotten a lot of letters. Well I have to go. Hope to hear from you soon. My brother Ryan says to tell you “Hi” and is also very sorry about your loss. 

Best wishes always.
Jennifer

These words of wisdom from the mind of my then-10-year-old granddaughter Jennifer, now a grown woman with two young children. The story came unsolicited from my dear friend, Rabbi Edward Zerin, whose tragic story I tell about in my book. 

How could there be any greater example of the reason why such matters have such an effect on every person and why young and old alike need to openly share life’s happiness and sadness?

Then there is the exciting story of Matthew Leonard, a 6th grader who, if he could would live in an airplane. One day, when he was in the 3rd grade, Matthew told his mother that he felt that Veterans were being forgotten and then came up with the idea of starting “Operation: Respect and Honor”

It is a Holiday card drive in which students in schools, including Matthew and his mother - who make and collect cards and bundle them u, with candy canes - deliver them to a veteran’s’ transitional living facility in Los Angeles.

They have enlisted the help of many organizations, including Rotary Clubs. So far, over 4500 cards have been distributed to Vets without families - and what is most important to know is the Matthew insists on delivering them personally.

These stories are just two examples of the kinds of things that demonstrate the passion and concern young people have for those who have needs. The stories also make strong arguments for the priority all of us have to help prepare our loved ones for the travel through life.

“It is essential that we enable young people to see themselves as participants in one of the most exciting eras in history, and to have a sense of purpose in relationship to it."
- Nelson Rockefeller

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES?

Do you believe in Fairy Tales?????

Larry is lying in bed, near death. He calls out to his wife, “Martha, where are you?" Martha runs to the bedside and reassures him that she is there. 

Larry asks, “Where is our son Jonathan?” Martha says, "He is here too." And she calls her 30-year-old son Jonathan to the bedside. 

“And where is our daughter Hilda?” Larry inquires. Again, Martha calls 27-year-old Hilda to the room. Finally, Larry anxiously asks, “What about Eddie?” Martha calls 25-year-old Eddie and tells him to come at once.

Surrounded by his entire family, Larry screams out, “So who is minding the business?"

In other words, staying involved in life is the only way to have a happy ... "landing."

We don't believe in "endings" here. 

As we start out the New Year I want to share with you my experience with the question of Fairy Tales and if they do really come true. Well, as I just found out ... they do!!!!!!

Shout the message to young and old, plan early, keep planning and dreaming and your Fairy Tale "will" come true.

Since January 1, all my efforts have been concentrated on two things:

My book and my ongoing life.

My life as a Food, Beverage and Laundry Consultant has been limited by a physical impairment.

While all of my friends and Clients in the Industry keep in touch, I have been more and more concerned about how to continue to use all of my earned knowledge to help the industry grow.

In my soon to be published book, and in these blogs, I have told the story of the journey from life to death. I have offered advice, based on my experience, about how to live a full and complete life ... as we deal with all the bumps in the road. I advised you to never give up on pursuing your dreams, or on enhancing important relationships.

I have had a good education, but a difficult childhood because of my father’s long battle with diabetes and his early death, my own struggle with Crohn’s Disease, heart and back surgery, as well as struggles resulting from bad choices.

But I never, NEVER gave up!

I had a vision of continuing to use my mind and remaining active as I reach the age of 85 in just a few short weeks, and then my Fairy Tales would come true. BUT THE FAIRY TALE CAME TRUE EARLY!!

I finished the book and sent it off to my Editors to finalize it for publishing and voila!  The very next day I received a call from a dear friend and former colleague who told me that he had just taken a new job with a major corporation in the industry.

He asked if I could meet with him later that day to discuss some business. I agreed, and he drove several hundred miles to meet ... to ask for my help in his new venture and I agreed. We were able to work out how - with my disability - we could do that and are proceeding.

Folks, again to remind you, I'm about to be 85. In some ways, I'm just starting out!

And then, a day later, another Fairy tale came true. I have a very special friend who - for numerous reasons - I had not seen for some time, but was always on my mind. As I was on my way home from a meeting, and on my way to yet another one, it was my intention to run an errand after the second meeting. At the last minute, my mind changed and I decided to run the errand "before" going to the second meeting. I stopped to do that and the person who was so much on my mind was walking by my car. What a wonderful surprise!

Who said age is a detriment? It is an "enabler" of knowledge! Who decreed that physical impairment limit your ability to enjoy life? Who said that wonderful things cannot happen to you at any second of life?

So ... start the year 2014 with renewed vigor - like me - and a strong belief that if you follow the path outlined in my book, you can and will have a happy landing.

Not an "ending." A "landing."

Happy New Year.

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER

One is the Loneliest Number 

“She built herself a little house,

All walled about with Pride:

Took Prudence as a servant,

And locked herself inside.

She drew the blinds down tight as tight,

When sorrow chanced to roam.

Experience called – she sent down word

That she was not at home.

Then, wherefore, should she now complain

And wherefore, should she sigh,

That Life and Love and Laughter

Had passed unseeing by?"

Two events of this past week enabled the subject of today’s blog to hit me in the face:

a) The sudden death of a dear friend who took his last breath while out to dinner with his wife; and

b) a 'Letter to Amy', the current Ann Landers of the printed news, in which the writer told how lonely he was since the passing of his wife, and suggested that he needs people around him - but apparently has no friends - only a dog - to help him through his ordeal.

The lesson to be learned from these events is that as we take the journey through life we should never forget the importance of building loving relationships with others. 

We are all human; we all need it. Loneliness, unfortunately, is all-too-natural -- and perhaps inevitable. But, until we get there ... 


In the events I have described, the wife of my friend - who along with her husband were at my side constantly throughout my own wife Anna’s ordeal and afterwards - have continually, along with an unbelievable cadre of other friends, made sure that I am not alone.

The writer of the letter obviously, as so many widows and widowers have told me as I write my book, never took the time to establish meaningful relationships, and instead built a wall around themselves and the world.

As  I myself have learned, we live at a time when our relatives are aging, our children often do not live close to us and we are longer involved in business relationships.  Many of our friends are ill and coming to life’s end; if we have not begun at an early age to establish much-needed friendships, we to will be sad and lonely as we travel our last miles.

So, plan your life early, never let go of relationships that are meaningful and be there for them when they have a need, as you would want them to be with you during happy, as well as lonely, times of your life. 

Remember, a friend is someone with whom you can get undressed emotionally.


Read on ...

Dear Ann,

Over the years I have derived a great deal of pleasure from your column, and as a physician I commend you for the fine job you do in the health field. 

Here is something that a friend sent me in the mail recently. I don’t know who wrote it, but it gave me the best laugh I’ve had in a long time. I hope you will share it with your readers.

Your Friend (Name omitted for ethical reasons)

WHAT NOT TO NAME YOUR DOG

Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Boy”.’ I call mine “Sex”. He’s a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said “I would like one too!” Then I said, “But this is a dog.”He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then I said, “You don’t understand. I have had Sex since I was 9 years old.” 

He winked and said “You must have been quite a kid.”

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.

He said “You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don’t care what you do.”

I said, “Look, you don’t seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” 

The clerk responded, “Funny, I have the same problem.”

One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said. “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.”

He said “Now that cable is all over the place, it’s no big deal anymore.”

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, “Your honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “This court is not a confessional. Stick to the case please.”

Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, “Me too.”

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came by and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?”

I told him “I was looking for Sex.”  

My case comes up on Friday.

I don't know what the moral of that joke is, other than, maybe: If you're feeling lonely, get a dog. 


A note to my Blog readers:

If you my Blogs are meaningful to you pleases share them with your friends on Facebook and other social sites. The more persons who read them, the better and more successful our publishing endeavors will be.

Many thanks,

Bernie Otis

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, or a personal story about life and aging, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF THEM ALL

What is the most important decision that we must make in our lifetime?

The Minister of a Methodist Church in Wisconsin was invited to give a speech at a local Rotary Club. The topic was “Marriage and Sexual Relationships.”

He was sitting in his home office writing the speech when his wife walked in and asked him what he was doing.

He told her he was preparing for a talk at Rotary and she asked him what the topic was. Not wanting to tell her the real topic, he said it was about "sailing boats." She was surprised, but said nothing more and quietly walked away.

Several days after the speech had been given, she was in the market shopping when a man called out to her: “Ms. Miller, hi! I am Larry from Rotary and I want to tell you that the speech your husband gave was the best I have ever heard”.

She said, “Really, I am amazed.” He asked her why, to which she responded, “He has only done it 3 times. Twice he got sick to his stomach and once he fell off the boat.”

What can I say? A bit of laughter is always good before the serious stuff.

And now ... the serious stuff. 

Decisions, decisions ... decisions. 

Every day of our lives we are faced with making choices that will determine our daily and long-term well-being and happiness.

Where should I get my education? What career should I pursue? What help do I need? Where should I live? Am I in love? What do I do about my health situation? Etc.

Sadly we are also faced with life and death decisions of not only our own, but those of our loved ones as well.

Not until I began research on my book, and at the same time began my own experience living in an assisted living center surrounded by the aged in various stages of their journey, did I realize the singlemost important and agonizing decision individuals, as well as their loved ones, have to make. This decision is not whether to pull the plug ... but when is it essential to give up our independence before we hurt ourselves or a perfect stranger.

Let me share a real life situation:

"Maria" is an active woman in her early-eighties, sweet, attractive and full of energy; she just cannot understand nor remember what is going on around her or what happened five minutes ago.

When I met her last year, she had just moved into my assisted living center and was still driving her car (I could never understand why nobody stopped her). She had family close to where she lived and appeared normal in every respect other than being in a fog.

I found myself helping her with various things including finding her room at all hours of the day and night and finding her keys and so forth.

One day (it was 95 degrees outside), she called me and told me she was locked in the back seat of her car, which was parked in front of a major shopping center. I phoned the police, the fire department, AAA and the department store security, and immediately went to where she said she was parked.

Without going into more detail, we got her out, and I drove her back to her residence and tried to reach her family without much success. She had misplaced her keys. Eventually, we found the keys, brought the car back and finally her family reluctantly took the car away.  

Back to the issue of independence. Almost daily we hear of innocent persons being killed by elderly drivers who should not be behind the wheel of a car.

Someone needed to make this decision for her. She got lucky, as the decision was made very late. 

Let me close today’s message with this thought:

Of all of the five senses, “seeing” is the most important - even if you are, technically, "blind."

When we walk into a roomful of people, we “see” what is happening (and, if you are blind, the other senses compensate to form the equivalent of vision - in my opinion; "seeing" is a metaphor). When we wake up in the morning and look at the sky we “see” how beautiful the sky is. Likewise, when we look at a person of any age we can “see" what they are like and what mood they are in, and what needs they may have. When we "see," and we do, our aging loved ones having difficulty walking, remembering, in pain, etc., you are guilty of neglect if you ignore the symptoms. If you do ignore these symptoms, and are not willing to understand the danger of these situations, the fault if something happens - qute honestly - is yours. 

We must all be alert and prepared to act when we “see” the danger ahead.

I will say it one more time, in another way. If I get "blue in the face," so be it. The most recent studies on aging, death and dying clearly confirm that as many as 70% of the crippling injuries and serious illnesses resulting In death are due to falls by the elderly. These falls are most frequently followed by long hospitalizations - and often death - due to pneumonia. All of this is a ramification of failure to recognize and act on the need to give up one’s independence.

Remember, our journey from life to death can end prematurely if we fail to "see" the obstacles in our roadway, or not making the decisions necessary to avoid them. 

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

I'M DYING. NOW WHAT?

Have I left enough for my family, or other loved one(s)?
Have I made a difference in this world?
Could I have done more?
Have I helped enough people?
Have I treated people well?

Have I had enough s--?

A 78-year-old man was having some problems and he went to the doctor. The doctor said he needed to get a sperm count and gave the man a jar to fill up, telling him to bring it back the next day. The next morning he returned the jar to the doctor and it was empty. The doctor asked what happened and the man said he had a terrible time and could not do anything.

He said he tried with his right hand and then his left. He called his wife to help and she tried with her left hand, her right hand and her mouth ... nothing. They called in the lady next door  - the doctor asked, “You did what?” - and the man said she tried with her left hand and then her right, but they could not get the jar opened.

Okay, okay. I couldn't resist!

And no, before you get nervous ... I'm not dying. Yet. Not really.

Doctor says I'm healthy as an ox.


But, just this morning, I had a conversation with a friend. This friend got me thinking.

He told me business is slow. He will need to start pulling from his retirement accounts to keep his business afloat.

He said his cost of living now exceeds $250,000 a year, including taking care of his two children.

My friend is 60 years old.

He worries about his wife. He worries if he planned - there goes that word again - well enough.

His greatest fear is: "I've saved money and have a good life insurance policy for my children. But I worry that they are not self-reliant. How do I know they will be capable of earning on their own once their inheritance runs out?"

And so it goes.


With apologies to Disney's "Beauty and the Beast," my friend's tale is "as old as time."

I write these blogs and keep pounding home the same point: Plan! PLAN!!

Understand, however, that planning in itself is a life-long process.


My friend is like me. He doesn't fear dying so much. And he still has goals, both professional and personal.


I still need to complete my book.

He still needs to get his affairs in order. Though, I admit, he is further along than most.

Planning needs to be part of your day. It's just like brushing your teeth, taking a shower.

Keep a journal. Or keep a log of some sort. Write down every way you planned, every day.

Remember, the sum total of all your efforts will cumulate into something wonderful, and necessary.

In that event, the seeds of your planning will bear fruit, that will protect your loved ones for generations to come.


In closing, keep setting goals as well. It may well help you live longer ... which will give you more time to plan.

Have I made myself clear?


Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.

YOU DON'T HAVE LADY GAGA'S MONEY. NOW WHAT?

Shortly after an elderly white-haired woman visitor left their home, a young girl said to her mother: “If I could be such a beautiful, sweet, and lovable person I would not fear getting old.” To which the mother replied, “If you really want to be that kind of an old woman, you had better start now. She does not seem to me to be the kind of work that was done in a hurry."

David’s grandfather was something of a philosopher and never missed an opportunity to give out bits of advice to his grandson. One day he said, “Remember David, fools are certain, but a wise man is hesitant.” David then asked his grandfather, “Are you certain Grandpa?” Patting David on the back the grandfather answered, “David, I am absolutely certain.”

So ... 

Why do I write about the aging process, and then tie it together with the subject of "youth?" Well, maybe it is because when most people hear about "aging" and "preparing for death," they think that only old people die. 

Huh?

During this past year alone, the media has been reporting on car crashes, serious and rare diseases, murders, violence etc., and the majority of these incidents involved the death of young persons under the age of 30. 

Wow.

WOW! 

Consider this:

Howard was a wonderful young man who, from his earliest years, wanted to be an engineer. He studied hard all through high school and went on to a major University. This, despite the fact that his traditionally-oriented parents did everything possible to get him to change direction.

No matter. He graduated with honors.

He married his high school sweetheart, had two lovely children and was on his way to a great career. He was one of my dearest friends. The day after my father passed away, he and his wife came to visit me and he was fine.

Several days later, I learned that he was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital to determine what had happened and he told me that the day after he visited with me he had suddenly become quite ill. He was diagnosed as having a terminal kidney disease, and died 60 days later at the age of 32. In tears, we held hands the night before his passing.

I'll leave it to you to figure what happened to his family. Needless to say, they weren't all that far down "Preparation Road."

Remember ...

If one wants to become successful in any field of endeavor it requires preparation, an education - be it formal, on the job, or in specific trade type school - and goals. 

My friend had goals. Unfortunately his family was left without him. 

Did he plan at that age? Did he not? Again, while you figure out the options, here is my thought on the matter: 

Never wait until it is too late. Plan as soon as you have the ability to do so. 

Chances are, Lady Gaga has more money than you ever will. She will do just fine, thank you. Going to a Lady Gaga concert may be great once, twice ... who am I to say? But take some of that time and money and - to enjoy life's journey to its utmost - get ready, get set ... and go. 

Be smart, whether you are young or old, and have a wonderful weekend ...

Bernard ("Bernie") Otis is the author of the upcoming international bestseller, "How To Prepare For Old Age (If You Haven't Married Into A Wealthy Family)". If you have a question or comment, please send me an email to seymour.otis@gmail.com.